– Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions – Step Ten, Page 89
Join The Retreat
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THE WHAT
First and foremost, we would like to take this opportunity to say we truly hope you will be able to join us on one of our retreats. We are a group of men who gather to help each other grow spiritually and become men amongst men. If you are thinking of going on the retreat, please be sure to sign up ASAP as the retreat tends to fill up quickly. If you have questions, please reach out to one of the Core Members below.
Fellowship
Come share a weekend in the mountains sharing stories and making new memories, new friends, and get back to your roots on a simple level.
12 steps
Over the course of the weekend, we will go through all 12 steps. Most share their experience with each step while others who have not yet worked them gain invaluable insight from other members of the retreat.
MEETINGS
Over the years we have simplified our meeting schedule to provide everyone ample time to share as well as increase the amount of free time for all. We understand that you are not going camping only to sit in meetings all day. We want to enjoy the wilderness as much as you do.
GROUP MEDITATION
On Friday and Saturday afternoons, one of our memebers leads a group meditation. This is optional yet open to all. Even if you already meditate on your own, come find out how powerful the group setting can be.
campfires
What’s camping without a campfire? We bring enough firewood to support 3 or 4 campfires depending on the size of the group. Our main campfire is generally going all morning and all night. Here is where you will trade stories, warm up, and bond with other men.
NAPS
Does this really need explaining? You’re on vacation aren’t you?
FRIENDS
The BMR Retreat has been long established and as such, many men have become lifelong friends. One of the greatest gifts is seeing new members come on the retreat and new friendships form.
FISHING
Across Highway 74 is Lake Hemet. The lake is stocked each year with trout and there is a group of guys that charges its shores early each morning. There is also Strawberry Creek in Idyllwild that, when there is enough water flowing, also holds trout, and just over the hill is Lake Fulmor. If you want to join them, bring your gear and you’re in!
GREAT FOOD
Ask any man who has attended the retreat what their favorite part is and you will get a resounding answer…”THE FOOD!” We don’t waste any expense in this area. Breakfast generally consists of eggs, sausage, fruit, coffee, milk, orange juice; Lunch is mostly sandwiches, chips, dips, fruit, whatever you can conjure up; and dinner, well, night number one is generally chili night, Friday night is taco night, and Saturday night is BBQ night. Cuts that have made an appearance on the retreat consist of: rib eyes, NY strips, venison, elk, wild boar, pulled pork, and tri tip. The protein varies, but always satisfies. It is always accompanied by salad, ranch beans, corn and more meat if you have room for it. When one of the members is celebrating a birthday the week of any retreat, there will always be something in the form of a cake, pie, ice cream, etc. to take you into the night. If no one is celebrating a birthday that week, we’ll have dessert anyway.
CORE MEMBERS
Alistair
Secretary
Smokey
Treasurer
Scott
Core Member
Jay
Kitchen Boss
TomkaTT
Kitchen Boss
Wade
Core Member
Patch
Scoutmaster
Danny
Core Member
Paul
Core Member
HISTORY
Back in the Spring of 1981 a group of men from Laguna Beach decided to start a retreat that would allow them to pass along the message that had been freely given to them. The weekend was to be a spiritual one with the incorporation of the twelve steps and massive amounts of fellowship. They found the perfect place to hold the retreat, Estero Beach, just south of Ensenada, B.C., Mexico. Hence the Baja Men’s Retreat (the first BMR) was born. This retreat sustained itself through the late 80’s and early 90’s. Over the years it held its share of some very colorful characters. These men are often referred to not only on the retreats, but also in meetings far and wide. Slowly, over time, the Baja Retreat faded, leaving many memories and pictures.
A short while later, in 1998, some of the men that had journeyed south of the border decided to revive the retreat. However, this time it was to be a little closer to home. Rather than the 3-4 drive to the south, they discovered Black Mountain above Idyllwild, CA. From this point on, the retreat has been known as the Black Mountain Retreat (the second BMR). Since this group of revivers was from Laguna, some might argue that it ‘could’ stand for the ‘Bullet in the head’ Men’s Retreat since the Monday night men’s meeting, where they met, is sometimes referred to as such.
As the years went on, the group began to grow and some personalities began to overshadow the principles of the retreat. After a long discussion it was decided collectively that a core group of men would step up and volunteer to put the retreat together. To this day, this core group of guys is still together. The core group has undergone a few changes, but remains strong with a clear vision into the future. The BMR Retreat has become a well-oiled machine that has all the necessities to continue on for many, many years.
It is difficult to explain exactly what the retreat does for each man. Everyone who attends takes away something different. Additionally, repeat attendees always find something new to take away from the weekend. It is truly a unique experience.
Regardless of the acronym you choose, the BMR Retreat shall go on for some time to come. Perhaps one day, a third BMR may find us in Bali or some other exotic location starting with a ‘B’. We hope that you will join us on your journey and become a part of this rich history.
LOCATION
FAQs
SPOTS REMAINING
COST
The cost of the retreat is $110.00
WHAT'S INCLUDED?
- All camp fees
- All food, drinks, snacks, desserts
EXAMPLE MENU - Meetings
- Firewood
- Fellowship
- Nap Time
- Serenity
WHAT'S NOT INCLUDED?
- Camping Gear: tents, sleeping bags, personal items
- Sporting Gear: fishing equipment, fishing license
- Adventure Pass for Parking at Lake Hemet
HOW DO I GET SIGNED UP FOR THE RETREAT?
- Make sure your calendar shows you are available from April 30 – May 3, 2025
- Contact a Core Member & ask any questions that are not answered here
- Make the decision to go
- Take action and sign up no later than Tuesday April 28, 2025
- Don’t delay, the retreat will sell out months in advance
REFUND POLICY
Sometimes life happens and plans change. We understand that and offer the following:
100% Money Back
All refund requests that are made no later than Wednesday April 1, 2026 will be eligible for a 100% refund. All refunds will be provided in the same manner they were paid originally.
Partial Refund
All refund requests that are made between Thursday April 2 and Wednesday April 22, 2026 will be eligible for a $55.00 refund. All refunds will be provided in the same manner they were paid originally.
Forfeit
If you request a refund or cancel on (or after) April 23, 2026, or you do not show up to the retreat, you will forfeit all monies paid. At this point we have already incurred expenses on your behalf. These are expenses which are non-refundable to the group.
NO SHOOTING ACTIVITIES?
EFFECTIVE NOVEMBER 01, 2023
For the Safety and Security of all attendees, No Shooting Activities shall be held on any BMR Retreat.
WHAT IF I CAN'T GET THERE UNTIL LATE THURSDAY?
If you cannot make it to the retreat before dinner at 5:30pm, then we ask that you adjust your schedule and leave earlier in the day or consider the following retreat. Understand that with traffic in the afternoon your 1.5-2 hour drive can turn into 4 hours. This happens all the time.
Showing up late can be disruptive to the group, cause meetings to go long, and can cause you to miss out on important aspects of the retreat.
Take the extra time and make the trip up the mountain enjoyable instead of stressful.
CAN I SHOW UP ON FRIDAY AFTER WORK?
NO.
You would need to be there from Thursday at 5:30pm through the final meeting Sunday morning. The spirit of the retreat is found in the continuity of the group. If you are unable to be there for the entire time, we will be going again in 6 months. Please plan to join us then.
DO I HAVE TO STAY AT THE RETREAT THE ENTIRE TIME?
YES.
You would need to be there from Thursday at 5:30pm through the final meeting Sunday morning. The spirit of the retreat is found in the continuity of the group. If you are unable to be there for the entire time, we will be going again in 6 months. Please plan to join us then.
CAN I BRING MY DOG?
NO.
While we would love to all bring our pets with us, the distractions it creates are too much. Besides, some of the properties we visit do not allow pets. Please make arrangements for someone to take of your pet while you are away. This includes all service animals too.
SHOWERS / ELECTRICITY / WIFI
SHOWERS
There are coin-operated showers at Hurkey Creek. Bring plenty of quarters. There is no place for you to get them up there.
Another option would be to bring full-sized Dude Wipes to wipe down with.
ELECTRICITY
There is limited electricity available at Hurkey Creek. There are literally 4 outlets. One is used for making the coffee, and the other reserved for those who may need to plug in a cPAP/BiPAP machine at night.
During the day you ‘might’ have the chance to plug your phone in. DO NOT count on this though. If you need power, please bring a battery backup.
If you have a small, quiet inverter that you wish to bring, you may do so.
Generators in RVs or Campers are permitted, but you must abide by the park’s hours of operation.
WIFI
There is a wifi signal at Hurkey Creek if you have Verizon as a carrier. Otherwise, you’re probably going to have to relax and camp like people used to do in the good ol’ days.
CAN I BRING MY TRAILER / RV?
Yes, if you have a trailers or RV, you are welcome to bring it on this retreat. There is NO Shore Power available. Generators can be run between 7am and 9pm.
SCHEDULE OF EVENTS
THURSDAY
12:00 – 5:00 PM Arrival & Camp Set Up
5:30 PM Dinner
7:00 PM Meeting: Steps 1, 2, 3
FRIDAY
8:00 AM Breakfast
9:00 AM Meeting: Steps 4, 5, 6
3:00 PM Group Meditation (Optional)
5:30 PM Dinner
7:00 PM Meeting: Steps 7, 8, 9
SATURDAY
8:00 AM Breakfast
9:00 AM Meeting: Steps 10, 11, 12
3:00 PM Group Meditation (Optional)
5:30 PM Dinner
7:00 PM Meeting: Gratitude
SUNDAY
7:00 AM Breakfast & Tear Down
9:00 AM Meeting: God As You Understand Him
Group Photo following the meeting
Depart for home
